Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
