Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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