My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
