Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
