wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
