Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
