how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
