you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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