Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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