dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
