i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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