i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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