i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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