He had one of those small greek statue penises
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
