Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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