soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Randomize
