I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
