ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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