what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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