drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
