He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
