K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
