You're a womanizer and a bitch.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
