So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
