shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
whose parrot is this?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
