those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
