i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
