I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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