It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
