He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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