jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
