This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Randomize
