If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
