JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
