hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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