I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize