I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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