New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I cut my penus on the lid.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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