his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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