nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
