Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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