first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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