You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Randomize
