Your tits are I can't wait for
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize