Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
should my penis look like a turkey
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
