I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
