Kiss
Puke
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
