I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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