just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
