While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
