i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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