a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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